Once again, I remembered a moment when I went to the post office in Boston for the first time without my son and they asked me where is your son?
I said: “He is in kindergarten!”
It was the first time I was going out without him! These were the first steps towards his independence. You worry, you feel lost, but after a while it feels good to have a few moments to yourself.
Year after year, you continue to be with them, at school functions, sports, homework, birthday parties, boo-boos, broken hearts, driving lessons, and when they are teenagers and “having a fit”.
In the blink of an eye, everything comes to an end and they are off to college, living on their own, and the ball that he used to kick around the kitchen is silenced.
It feels like just last week he jumped into my arms when he got off the school bus when he was eight years old. He was already heavy for me to lift, but he didn’t care what his friends would think about his spontaneity.
Instead of feeling like an empty nester, I got the opportunity to follow my own dreams, even though I miss being frozen on the bleachers on the frigid winter days.
Now, we talk about his plans and dreams and he gives his opinion on my plans and dreams (and I still have a lot of them), such as the blog (smiles). It is a different stage of life, and little by little we find a way to connect on a different level.
We are still close, but I do not know about every little thing in his life; he is able to make his own decisions and choices, and I am so happy for him. He is following his dream and finding his path.
It does not have to be a time of loneliness, sadness, or emptiness, because there will always be something to share and connect, just on another level.
Do I miss the days in the park, volunteering in school, spending the day playing, laughing or just talking after school when he was doing homework, talking about a book we read, or just enjoying each other presence?
Yes, I do miss him very much; like we Brazilians say, Saudade!!!
But it is a happy feeling, and now we wait for what life will bring next!